I’m Forrest, Forrest Gu…ump

If i werent terminally lazy, this is when i would get up, pay the fat cybercafe woman, beat the loud man on the STD phone to a fine jelly and start running. id run and run and run until i reached the pakistan border and they shot at me, and then id turn around and run and run and run until i reached the chinese border and they shot at me. apart from the laziness, the reasons im not doing this are

1) i dont have running shoes or money to buy them. if i did have money, i would just buy DVDs of people running. hey, baywatch!

2) delhi police would catch me, lock me up and violate me on a daily basis. theyve caught stoob 17 times now. for loitering with intent. in parks, on roads, while picking up food from the fat lady (Bulbul) across the street. in the afternoon, in the evening, late at night, at the crack of dawn. if hes there, and theyre there, they catch him. maybe they are actually locking him up and violating him on a daily basis – he gets back home very late. and he is very thin.