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Am turning TV scriptwriter for the Great Indian Comedy Show…theyve started shooting some of my stuff, and want more. Which is great in many ways, because it allows me to further my nefarious plan of subverting popular culture (even at micro-level) without actually engaging in it (read; ever leaving my flat except to do travel stories). The only drawback, and its a major drawback, is that I have to write in HINDI. and i cant speak hindi to save my life. though why i should want to speak hindi to save my life i cannot fathom, but let that be. so if youre a friend of mine who speaks better hindi than me (ie, if youre a friend of mine not currently based in cal) do not be surprised if you get frantic calls from me in the dead of night asking you to translate phrases such as ‘ny wife is being eaten by a shark and doesnt seem to be enjoying it’ or ‘i will now batter you to death using this cheap plastic chair.’
This is all divine retribution for not paying attention in Hindi class in class 7 and 8 in school. all i can seem to remember about hindi lessons was that one of the first texts was a poem about a cow. and how useful it was.


About Samit Basu

Novelist. Best known for fantasy and science fiction work. Most recently, The City Inside (Tordotcom)/Chosen Spirits (Simon and Schuster)


18 thoughts on “Hindie

  1. Hindi AND cows? Call Amit Verma, the Celebrity Blogger. Both are evidently close to his heart. Or his cerebellum, as the case may be.

    And do not make the mistake of assuming that no Bong in Cal can speak good Hindi. *look of withering disdain, or, aisi nazar se dekha ki main dekhne layak hi nahin hoon*


    Posted by J. Alfred Prufrock | April 28, 2005, 1:10 pm
  2. no no, im sure cal is full of fabulous hindi speakers. just that the 2/3 friends i have left there speak hindi that is even more criminally atrocious than mine

    Posted by samit | April 28, 2005, 1:31 pm
  3. the only thing i really remember about hindi class is that in the text book it said ‘sauch = tatti’

    Posted by gideon the gorilla | April 28, 2005, 2:48 pm
  4. hindi sikhna/bolna/likhna har ek bharatiya nagarik ka jimmedari he…..yeah they do have genders for everything in hindi which is kinda funny to me and when I speak tis funny to the rest of the Hindi speakers

    Posted by Arijit Mukherjee | April 28, 2005, 3:04 pm
  5. Hindi scripts for the Indian comedy show…hmmm… does not sound as bad as it threatens to. From what I remember of the Show, it could use some thoda sa sophisticated bangali aue dilli ka mel type likhawat…all the best then

    Posted by vAgue | April 28, 2005, 4:02 pm
  6. Because you’re my buddy.
    And because I don’t want to be called at obscene hours.
    I present:
    oh the miracle that is Google 🙂
    Now, say thank you.

    Posted by eM | April 28, 2005, 4:30 pm
  7. phooh! hindi translation! wuo ar koun nehi kor shakta ! jeta jeta translated nehi hona chahta shegulore aisa aisa brojobuli diye translate kar deta, je keu bujhte nehi parta ham kon bhashame katha koita hay!!!bujhte parta??

    Posted by NEMO | April 28, 2005, 9:05 pm
  8. What’s Hindi for ‘shark’? And ‘plastic’?

    Posted by Jabberwock | April 29, 2005, 5:58 am
  9. Duckie, why don’t you ask your friend the famous Hindi orator of ‘hamarre desh ke naujawanon’ fame? I’m not bad either.

    Jabberwock, Hindi for plastic is pelastic. I’m looking up the shark. Could it be saarak? Ask any Bihari who’s seen Jaws.

    Posted by The Marauder's Map | April 29, 2005, 11:24 am
  10. hum bangla mein bolta ko bolta bolta hain. tum hindi mein bolta ko kya bolta hain?

    Posted by Buchu | April 29, 2005, 2:25 pm
  11. Had heard this one in school: Bengali matriarch and young daughter go shopping one very rainy day.Hassled matriarch tells a very puzzled Bihari driver:’Driver,yeh memsaab gaari me uthega…tum abhi memsaab ka chaati pakdo’.What the hapless driver in question did was left out of the story.

    Posted by Laura | April 29, 2005, 4:54 pm
  12. Genderwise ,if you’r writing Mumbaiya hindi, Just dont bother.

    Appun logoka hindi aeiseich hai re…Kuch bhi bolneka…pan Josh’se bolneka…to sabbhi public sunega re…Naito UP ka Pandit bhi ho ya jo’bhi..koi kaan’ka bhao nahich dega!!

    Hehe!! Me Bengali..Failed in 3rd Language Hindi classes in 7th n’ 8th..been managing to write TV scripts in Hindi for the last one year!!

    Posted by Rusha | April 30, 2005, 9:35 am
  13. Guess we have some explanation for the state of tv programming in India now. I cannot think of Hindi words for “shark” and “plastic” and I think the English words are perfectly acceptable.

    Posted by thalassa_mikra | May 1, 2005, 5:36 am
  14. hey!
    Read your article on Shorotchondro today on TOI. Nice one.

    Posted by Rusha | May 1, 2005, 2:32 pm
  15. umm…let’s go over this again. YOU wrote an article on SARATCHANDRA CHATTOPADHYAY for the TIMES OF INDIA????

    its may 1st. not april 1st. keno, ki kore, kobe, kokhon??

    and get online. soon. onek onek ghyan ghyan korte hobe. onek kichhu niye.

    Posted by Buchu | May 1, 2005, 7:46 pm
  16. Comrades, I do hereby swear fealty to this blog and its contributing visitors. Any band that can sodomise the Rashtra-bhasha thusly and so deserves plaudits and much beer.


    Posted by J. Alfred Prufrock | May 2, 2005, 7:47 am
  17. Hi, i came here drifting from blog to blog….i dont blog myself but i simply love reading..so in the guise of working i browse blogs and i read everything i get my hands on ..[in thsi case the mouse on]….this lovely “labhli” poem of yours is hilarious and i would love to share it with some of my friends…can i forward your blog id to them or copy paste the poem and forward it to them…..if you dont want it..it’ll be ok…thanks

    Posted by psmithie | May 3, 2005, 9:59 am
  18. and i am a complete dud softwarewise…i had to create a blog just to leave a comment here…dont know whether i could do it without creating the blog!!

    Posted by psmithie | May 3, 2005, 10:01 am

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Copyright (c) Samit Basu. Images copyright respective holders.
April 2005


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