Motherlove

Remember the expression ‘He had a face only a mother could love?’
Thats me.
In the midst of fond hellos, my mother managed, very lovingly, to convey the following information to me within two minutes of meeting me.
1. I am fat
2. I need a haircut
3. I am red
4. I should wonder why Im single
5. I havent done anything interesting for a while
sigh.